2007 July : Hello! My name is… Imelda Bettinger

Archives for July, 2007

The Simpsons Movie

Saw it Sunday with Danielle. I thought it was funny. Many great one-liners. Danielle got a bit bored with it and she loves the show. Kids these days!

Homer Simpson: [singing Tune to Spider-Man Theme Song] Spider-Pig, Spider-Pig. / Does whatever a Spider-Pig does. / Can he swing / from a web? / No he *can’t*, / cause he’s a *pig*. / Look out! / He is the *Spider-Pig*!

movies, simpsons, simpsons movie, the simpsons, theatre

07/31/2007 | This and That | No Comments

This past weekend…

My best friend KC and her kids were visiting Texas from California and we met up with them in Austin.

Here is a set of photos I took while driving to Austin. Matt never stops to let me take photos, but this time was different. He turned around all on his own and took me to a “Scenic Overlook” on Highway 71. We got to Austin and visited with Dan and Margaret in their newly remodeled home. It looks great! Then we met up with KC and our other friend Jennifer who lives in Austin at South Park Meadows in South Austin. This place used to be a concert venue and now its all commercial. It rained when we got there but it finally stopped and we were still able to eat Amy’s Ice Cream and Mama Fu’s Asian House. Yummy! The kids liked the play scape and ice cream and the big kids enjoyed visiting.

The next day we woke up to Dan already gone but got to hang out with Margaret. We locked up and then ate breakfast at Taco Shack on Lamar at 40th. We’ve been here a number of times and the food is always tasty! We stopped to let me take a few photos of The Capital and Congress. I didn’t take my phone and Matt has to move because the meter man was coming and so he drove around for 15 minutes trying to find me. That was no fun for him. Good thing was I could hear his little TDI zip around all the one ways an anticipate where he could come by next.

We then headed south to meet KC and her sister Katy for a while and said our goodbyes. We were next off to the Snake Farm in New Braunfels, Texas. We had recently watched an episode of Dirty Jobs were Mike Rowe visits the Snake Farm. We had been before but it had been years and we were in the area so what the heck. Mason loved the snakes! The other animals were sad but we are told the new owners are improving the place. Take a look of the photos. Let me know if you can help me identify some of the snakes.

austin, dirty jobs, Friends to Visit, imelda, jennifer, kc, mike rowe, new braunfels, snake farm, texas, travel

07/31/2007 | Close to Home | No Comments

Politics Explained – with Cows

I’m not a political person but found this quite funny.

Politics Explained – with Cows.

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away…

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit
opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with
an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

THE ANDERSEN MODEL
You have two cows.
You shred them.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy….

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

Found at Faz the Cat.

politics

07/31/2007 | This and That | 1 Comment