The Zen Path through Depression
I’m reading the “The Zen Path through Depression” by Philip Martin. I’ve been reading it ever since I found it in the hospital on May 15th or so. Its a small book and covers about 50 different topics in a about 2-3 pages each. I have to re-read many over and over and still haven’t read them all. I take notes from what I read and hopes that it will sink in and help my road to recovery.
I photo copied a section called Parental Mind before I left the hospital. I didn’t have time to read it and didn’t know how long it would take to get my own copy. I didn’t read that section until last week before my therapy session. I thought it had to do with being a better parent so I was very interested.
Turns out its all about how depression is a return to your inner child and how we are unable to take care of ourselves. We can’t parent ourselves. We don’t eat well, we want to stay up late or sleep all day, we want to eat sugar all day, at least I do. We don’t want the responsibilities of adulthood and we are frightened to go into the world alone. If we have kids, its very difficult to act around them in a parental way. That is totally me.
Of course I see this in other people around instead of myself initially. My husband barely eats breakfast, doesn’t eat veggies or barely fruit, barely sleeps, drinks coffee ALL day and no water, eats jolly ranchers and reece’s peanut butter cups all day and eats triple-meat hamburgers for dinner, if he even eats dinner. Now do you think he’d let Mason get away with this? Why is he allowed? Just because he is an adult and can make his own decisions doesn’t mean he is making the right decisions. He needs to better parent himself.
How can I better parent myself? Eat better like I know I should? I sleep enough as long as I take my medicine but I do sleep too much many days. How about I get up out of bed and go to work instead of watching movies in bed until noon? How about I cut out frivolous spending and eating out? How about I be more present in raising my own kids? I should stop beating myself up about things and love myself more, but its just not that easy, I’m willing to work on it though.
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One Response to “The Zen Path through Depression”
Posted by: Tamara - 07/01/2008
that’s a hard one. I think all we can do is try everyday to be our best selves, physically, mentally, spiritually. Not expecting perfection of ourselves but just an effort… every day. I think that its the everyday part that is the hardest. I know that is why I rely on my faith to get me through that everyday part. It would be too hard on my own….I don’t know, obviously I am still working on it. :)
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