Tracey made me cry in public

True Light Tracey

My friend Tracey wrote a post that I read at lunch alone today. IT MADE ME CRY IN PUBLIC!

It made me cry for many reasons.

    1. Tracey is an amazing women and amazing mother
    2. I am a HORRIBLE mother and wife that doesn’t do 1/2 of what she does
    3. I hope Tracey’s kids and ex-husband appreciate all that she does

Gist of the post is re-posted here:

Dear Ex-Husband,

NOTICE:

You write a child support check twice a month and have the boys every other weekend (if it’s convenient for you.)

* I fill out all of the school forms.
* I make all the school lunches. (I don’t do this)
* I wake up every morning to get the kids ready for school. (I don’t do this)
* I help with homework. (I don’t do this)
* I nag, cajole, plead, beg, bribe our kids to clean their rooms, do their homework, turn off the lights, flush the toilet, clean up after themselves.
* I listen when they are sad, hurt, angry, frustrated, defeated, inconsolable. (I don’t do this)
* I budget.
* I cook almost every meal. (I DEFINITELY don’t do this)
* I clean. (I do some of this but hire out most)
* I do the laundry.
* I make doctors appointments.
* I make dentist appointments.
* I take care of them when they are sick.
* I make arrangements for them for their summer activities. (I don’t do this)
* I talk to them about God. (I don’t do this)
* I talk to them about sex. (I don’t do this)
* I teach them about money.
* I am teaching one of them to drive, having researched the best way to do that. (I don’t do this)
* I make sure they have deodorant.
* I make sure they wear deodorant. (I don’t do this)
* I tuck them in. (I don’t do this)
* I kiss them goodnight.
* I get “one more drink of water”.
* I help them find their first job.
* I counsel them on their love life. (I don’t do this)
* I sign them up and take them to baseball practice. (I don’t do this)
* I attend every school meeting. (I don’t do this)
* I meet with the school counselor regarding college. (I don’t do this)
* I take them on tours of Universities. (I don’t do this)
* I watch over them EVEN when there is no power.
* I make arrangements for their safety in an emergency.
* I pick them up and drop them off.
* I wait up for them when they get home late.
* And all the other things I left off of this list because I am now going to make dinner.
* All of these things I do even if I am tired, sick, sad, depressed or even if I just don’t want to.

I AM TAKING THE SUMMER OF 2009 OFF.
ABOVE IS YOUR LIST OF THINGS TO DO.

Looking at this list, I could do SO much more for my kids, for my husband, for our family, but I keep being told to take care of myself so that I CAN take care of them.

I feel like such a failure and can’t figure out how to make it all work better.

I wish I could be just a tiny bit more like Tracey; even just a tiny bit would be such an improvement over where I am now.

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10/09/2008 | Close to Home, Things Others Say | Comments

2 Responses to “Tracey made me cry in public”

  1. Posted by: True Light Tracey - 10/09/2008

    Precious Imelda,

    What I know for sure is that I could not be half of the person I am today if I didn’t take care of myself first, well God 1st me 2nd. The point is I do know that taking care of me IS taking care of my boys. Taylor & Gavin deserve a happy mommy. It makes me a better mommy, and I am committed to being the BEST mommy I can be. So you just keep taking care of Imelda. I promise the rest will fall into place.

    Also, the only good/fair comparison I can make is me today to me in the past.

    I love you!

    Peace, Love & Light~
    Tracey

    True Light Traceys last blog post..breaking up is hard to do (unless you have my friends)

  2. Posted by: fruitlady - 10/16/2008

    Dear Friend, First and foremost please do not compare yourself to other parents. You do what you can and that’s what you do. We are all wired differently in this world and our capabilities may be stronger in areas that don’t necessary apply in this list. If you see things on the list you’d like to strive to include in your list then by all means strive for them. But remember to cherish the reality of your life and not the perceived ideal of your life that you can never accomplish. Yes, you need to take care of yourself. For some people taking care of others is how they care for themselves. For others it is not. Figure out how to appreciate and love the things that you do do. Take care! I’m thinking of you!

    fruitladys last blog post..To Ciaran, With Love, Age 9

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