Hello! My name is… Imelda Bettinger

wife, mom, computer geek, photographer talking about total randomness

The Four Agreements

fouragreements
The Four Agreements
A practical guide to personal freedom.
By Don Miquel Ruiz

I have recently finished ready The Four Agreements after my friend Hilary suggested in a comment to a previous post. I gave the book as a gift to my sister about 10 years ago but never asked her if she read it or what she thought until recently.

This is a very small and simple book, but very profound. To embrace and live each of the Four Agreements is to find yourself experiencing personal freedom.

The Four Agreements are:

Be Impeccable With Your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

I have been guilty of saying many things I didn’t really mean and know my words have hurt people. I know how wrong that is and am much more aware not to do this.

Don’t Take Anything Personally: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

This one is hard. I usually think I don’t care about what people think of me, but really I have. I need to work on not taking anything personal, positive or negative. I need to find my own opinion of myself and be true to myself.

Don’t Make Assumptions: Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

What’s the old quote, when you assume, you make an ass out of you and me? I have definitely assumed things and build all kinds of dreams and stories around those assumptions that turned out to be totally wrong, which then cased a lot of suffering on my part. We now have a saying on our refrigerator reminding us not to make assumptions in our house but to talk to each other and ask questions instead.

Always Do Your Best: Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Just as it says, do your best. Don’t try and do someone else’s best, do your best.

I learned a lot from this book and hope you find it just as useful.

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01/28/2009 | Reviews | 1 Comment

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